Violent Patriot

There are problems in this world, poverty, illness, reality television, ETC.

Most of these problems are "fixed" by politicians who have no business fixing their dog, let alone real concerns. So I have created this page to offer solutions to important, real-world issues.

The solutions displayed here are sometimes cruel, horrific, or simply twisted - but hey, you can't fix the world without breaking a few eggs. (And by eggs, we mean pansy-ass pop-tarts who don't have the grit to do what's needed. Like the French.)
 

Submit Your Solution!

Is there an issue that really pisses you off?

Do you have a solution to this problem?

Is your solution witty, funny, or downright violent?

If you answered yes to all of the above; submit your solution HERE, and we may post it on VP.

The Solution to Homelessness - By Mike From VP

•    Get the homeless off the street
•    Provide valuable services to the community
•    Educate / Train the homeless for future professions
•    Strongly encourage a less “urban outdoorsman” lifestyle for everyone
•    Pay for itself

1. Get the homeless off the street.  Build or convert current shelters to a functional, yet basic outline, much akin to old military barracks; rows of bunks with community facilities. The idea here is function over comfort – we do not want these people to be comfortable, we want them off the street, and not bugging me.
2. Provide valuable services to the community. The cost of staying in a shelter is 6 hours of labor, per day, 7 days a week, working on community services projects. This includes; digging ditches, building roadways, erecting infrastructure, painting over graffiti, picking up trash, ETC. These jobs will suck, alot, the goal is to have someone do the shit I don’t want to, and encourage them to “move on.” For this work, each person will be paid $18.00 a day. This will allow them to buy food, (we are not feeding the fuckers too,) clothes, and other essentials. They will get an hour break to get ready for the second part of their daily job, which is look for a job, for 2 hours. They are not allowed in the shelter during this time, and must either go to one job interview, or fill out 2 applications; failure to do so will lead to them losing their $18.00 daily rate. Anyone found trying to “cheat” the system by faking interview/applications, or purposely sabotaging the hiring process for themselves (so they do not get hired) will be executed by dismemberment.
3. Educate / Train the homeless for future professions. At night, these shelters will host training/education classes for anyone who wishes to attend. Its not that I hate homeless people, I hate unproductive useless people. These classes will be, in part, sponsored by local business that could benefit from this potential pool of employees.
4. Strongly encourage a less “urban outdoorsman” lifestyle for everyone. Two weeks after the start of this program, a secondary program will begin (staffed by those in other areas of local government that used to have to deal with the homeless.) At any time that someone is deemed a homeless pain in the ass, they will be doused with a whole can of lighter fluid, and set on fire. This will encourage others to get a useful existence, remove the problem, without high costs of administration/removal, and provide heat in the winter.
5. Pay for itself. As noted, all staff on this project will be volunteers, or current government staff, displaced by the removal of the homelessness problem. Sponsorship from businesses will supplement some of the costs, in the form of sponsorship and advertising (sponsoring the classes, naming of shelters on their behalf, etc; advertisement in the form of matchbooks.) The main contribution to the costs of the program is the labor itself. In addition to government entities, any company can use people in the program, for any task, up to and including medical testing, at the cost of $6.00 an hour; paid directly to the programs administration.